Lacking in motivation

I have really been fighting generalized ennui of late. I just can't seem to get my act together. It could be my new meds. It could be Spring Fever. It could be the fact that I think my mother may be going insane. It could be that my job is a three-ring circus without the fun or fabulous costumes. Could be a lot of things but the up-shot is that I am totally unmotivated to do anything. I thought writing about it might help the process but I feel unmotivated to even post this. I think I need to shake things up. I think I am in a terrible rut and I need to plow my way out, before I manage to sleep my life away.

the library

I love to google images. I find the tags people use fascinating. Tonight I googled "Librarian". The images that it brought up were hysterical. The other amazing things that I found are that the first two "related searches" were "naughty librarian" and "hot librarian". I am sure I do not want to know what this says about American society and culture. Another of these "related searches" was "librarian costume" - what could this be I asked myself. So I followed the link and like Alice, I landed- bemused and befuddled by what I found. In this case I really do think pictures are worth 1000 words.

This "librarian" costume is sold by Target. The book skirt is KEY!



This interesting outfit is sold by Amazon and is listed as "Sexy Librarian Overtime Costume". I really am at a loss given the title. She doesn't even have books. The tie is also baffling.




The pièce de résistance is this outfit, billed simply as "Sexy librarian" though they appear to be confused about what a librarian does. Though perhaps I should be grateful that at least SHE has books. I also wonder why this particular "sexy librarian" also looks like a catholic school girl who is wearing her baby sister's uniform.

Who knows, maybe I'm the one who is confused about my chosen profession.

Back to catalog my own stupidity

Well - I never did write like I said I would - but then I never do. I am more of an idea gal. Also I think I have ADD.

I have been having some minor health issues of recent, the latest being a sort of nighttime insomnia. I use the term "nighttime insomnia" - though it seems redundant - because from 12pm to 6pm I feel like I could sleep amazingly, yet I'm at work so this is unfortunate. Now, however, when it is 11.22pm I feel no compulsion to sleep and when I attempt to sleep I merely doze on and off all night which culminates in the vicious cycle of the 12 to 6 blues - which is really a fog that fills my brain while I should be teaching amazing things to children in grades 1 - 5. So I thought I would use this extra time in my day to make a blog comeback.

So here it goes (the comeback I mean). Tonight, for the second time in about 2 weeks, I have locked my keys in my car. The first time I was outside of my apartment building, tonight I was at a very sketchy gas station trying to take advantage of the $.05 off Thursday discount. I blame both of these events on the afore mentioned ADD. How does one go for almost 20 years without locking their keys in the car only to do it twice in such a short time span? One would assume you would be more aware of this behavior yet the opposite appears to be true. I have a plan (for security purposes I won't detail it here) I will put into action tomorrow. Wish me luck.

how the mighty have fallen

I had such lofty ideas of coming home each day to blog about my first year as a school librarian in an urban school. It was going to be amazing and fill me with a creative zing. The reality is that most days go by in a caffeine buzzed blur of running hither and yon. I barely even get to flex my writing muscles and by the time I am home and have time to write I just don't feel like it. So now I am on the 49th day for the students and the 53rd day for me and I have very few posts to show for it. I am going to make a real effort to blog more often but I think I'll write less about work and more about life. Not that I have written a ton about work but the prospect of working all day and then chatting about it all evening fills me with less than anticipation.

Days 11-18

Well school has been interesting. I am pretty much winging it. We had one teacher quit and the outright defiance of many of the children is hard to swallow but I knew the first couple of months would be crazy. I am feeling a bit better about lesson plan writing, or at least the process was much faster this week. I am really looking forward to the 3-day weekend.

I spent another frustrating time at the district office yesterday. It seems that the ineptitude in the HR department is a long standing phenomenon. I hope I won't have to deal with them anytime soon.

Here's hoping that week 3 goes better.

Day 10 The first day of school

Well I won't have kids in the library until next week but I have met a great number of students while on playground duty. They are an interesting and funny bunch. The year will definitely be a challenge but in the best kind of way. I am so excited for the school year! Bring it, I say - bring it!

Days 7-8-9

Well I finally managed to get into my library. It was filthy, disorganized, and cluttered. I spent at total if 23 hours over 3 days (one being a Saturday) to prep. It was sweaty and grueling at times but I am now quite happy with the result. Now I just have to plan lessons for 7 grades and figure out what books are actually in the library. Easy-peasy, gulp.